S1: E12 - Anxiety -vs- Intuition

There are a lot of folks out there talking about anxiety, intuition, and how to tell which one is which. In this week's podcast I'm not going to do that - none of us need more ideas, we need more understanding. This is more about my process than it is giving you one more technique to try that seems helpful but doesn't fit the bill.

Thanks for being here.

#anxiety #intuition #healing #understanding

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You run out to the store to pick up a few things, and as you get in your car to come back home, you get this feeling. It's like maybe you should take a different route home. Now, is that just anxiety or is that intuition? And the anxiety could be due to something that you know from where you live. Like there might be heavy traffic. When you're in that moment, what do you do to discern what is anxiety and what is intuition? Hi, I'm Kim, the face and voice behind Mom's Strange Magic, and today Tootsie is joining me in the podcast. She is on my lap. We might hear her, or she might do something that makes me have to pause for a moment. So just an FYI. There you go. So today's podcast is about anxiety and intuition. I'm coming to this today because I see a lot of chatter about it online, particularly social media, where folks are trying to give tips about how to navigate those things. And while we really like to put things in pretty packages and we really want to know how to define these moments because it brings us a sense of ease and calm in our daily life, the truth here is that it's going to take a lot of work on your own to figure out which is anxiety and what is intuition. This is something that I dealt with for a very long time as I grew to be the person that I am now, partially because I do have anxiety and it can sometimes be overwhelming. The other part of that is that I have experienced plenty of moments in my life where intuition has given me guidance to help myself and to help others. When I was first stepping into this kind of work back in the 90s, I could not discern quickly what was in what was something that was creating a deep emotional reaction within me, or what was something that could be considered guidance from guidance from outside of myself. Excuse me. And um, as we could say it in my family, I I have um sometimes when I get into a car, I I have a little bit of anxiety about that. Not about driving or whatever, it's just uh, you know, as someone that has had to drive older cars their whole life, when I get in the car, I'm always like, okay, please start, and then it starts, and you know, that anxiety passes. But um, you know, that's that's not necessarily that's that's just a real life kind of thing. Anybody that has had that kind of experience in life knows that when you have an older car and you get in, you're like, turn over this time, friend, because we got things to do. Um, but when I'm in traffic, I get this sort of like I just feel boxed in, right? I get I get real claustrophobic. And sometimes that can cause a little bit of anxiety. And you know, my brain is like, well, what if uh uh a big asteroid falls from the sky? And you know, just things like that. Not not overwhelmingly so. It doesn't prevent me from getting in my car and driving out, but it's just a thing, and and um, you know, it sort of tickles me sometimes to think of, you know, my I my car is kind of like my my mobile medicine bag. I use it to go, you know, do things that will help others and help myself and whatever, but anyway, um I do get a little bit anxious. So sometimes when my intuition is saying, hey, you know, like in the beginning I was explaining when it says I get in the car and it's like, hey, how about you take this route today? And I'm like, why? Is there gonna be, you know, like flying monkeys? I'm like, is that asteroid really gonna come and crush my car? Um, and so I I have this practice that I use, which I'm gonna get to here in a minute, but it is a real thing, and no matter how much you have worked on anxiety or how much you have worked on your intuition, it's still gonna come and visit you, right? Um and you're going to go through this checklist of things that they make you have more anxiety. So what does anxiety look like? Okay, so let's let's talk about what anxiety can be. For me, anxiety is loud and urgent, it it creates dissonance, it feels like scribbles on a piece of paper. There are constant little chatters in the back of my mind, well, what if this? Well, what if this? Well, what if this? Um, and you know, sometimes it it it will change and say things like, well, have you thought of it this way? Have you thought that maybe you're not, you know, and and and it's not, you know, and I want to make sure that I say this very clearly. If you have anxiety and it prevents you from going through your life in a way that is comfortable, it is a good idea to seek out someone that has an expertise and anxiety so that they can give you tools to help you manage that. Some people need anxiety meds, and uh while you see a lot of shaming going on uh in the socials about that, um, you know, if you can't produce your own serotonin, store bot is fine. That's absolutely how I feel about it. If anyone ever makes you feel worse about caring for your mental wellness, these are not the people to seek support from as you're working through your healing path. Um myself, I uh I have a genetic issue that makes it difficult for me to use pharmaceuticals of any kind or any kind of lab-created um medicines. And earlier in my life, if that had been an option uh for me, I probably would have used it because I did deal with anxiety. And the path that I took to get to where I am now, so that my anxiety levels, you know, are where I want them to be. And in my life, they were never at a point that made it difficult for me to have full engagement with my life. It was just um, you know, those what-ifs or coulda, woulda, shoulda's. And if I had had an opportunity to help those be, help that be a little calmer, I would have. Thankfully, at the time in my early 20s, uh, while in college, I had access to student health and met a great therapist who gave me some techniques that worked for me and my anxiety. And I point that out because again, online there's all these things like I did this and cured my anxiety, and I did this and cured my anxiety. Um, and that in and of itself is can also create anxiety, right? You're like, oh, I see John Q user or Jane Q user, and they did tapping or EMDR or whatever, and it made their anxiety better. And I want to do that, but I don't have the money to go to therapist, or I don't have the money to go to one of these practitioners, and that makes me anxious. And now I'm anxious about being anxious about being anxious, and you get into this again, scribble on a piece of paper kind of moment, which makes you seek out even, you know, like, oh, I'm gonna go to this person that's an expert in whatever. And um, you know, the sad fact is that there are not a lot of resources available for people that don't have a lot of money, uh, extra money laying around to take care of their mental health. And uh again, thankfully, I had access to um a college therapist at the at the time where I needed it, but later in life, uh there were other moments where I did need Tootsie's returned, she keeps coming back. She leaves and she goes back. Um, where I sort of had to find a way to work through those things, and that's when I started for myself to see what happens in my body when I feel anxious. Where do I feel it? Uh, for a lot of people, that anxiety is in their stomach and their abdomen and their core. Uh, for me, it was in my throat. I would really get uh my mouth would get dry and I would try, I would get a little lightheaded, and I would try to, you know, express myself and say, hey, I'm feeling uncomfortable, but I I couldn't do it. Uh I think probably those feelings were precursors to a panic attack, um, where I just didn't feel like I could speak up and say what I needed to say. So I really were, I was like, all right, we're gonna we're gonna dig into this. Um for me, journal work was what helped me walk through that. Uh not everybody has the uh access or the safety to do journal work, meaning they don't have a place where they can write this down in a journal and know that it won't be found by other people. Um so um again, I did have that ability. I did have a safe place to write in a journal. However, when I, you know, had roommates and things like that, I, you know, didn't really want to write in a journal. So I would go on walks and I would just talk to myself. Um, you know, at that point I didn't really, you know, I wasn't worried if people thought I was weird or whatever, but um, and I didn't talk out loud, I would just kind of talk um in my own mind, which I know not everyone could do, but I would be like, okay, hey, Kim, what is it that makes when when you get that kind of closed feeling in your throat, what is it that makes you feel like you can't speak? What makes you feel like this? And so I started to find the answers on my own, um, and and say, okay, well, when I'm in a situation where I'm around a lot of people and they're talking about things, and I want to share my thoughts on that too, um, what makes me feel like I can't, you know, and just really do some self-exploration um and and understand, you know, what was going on. So I knew that my tell, so to speak, for what was anxiety, um, was in my throat. And uh yeah, you know, side note, I did have a thyroglossal duct cyst removed in my 20s. Um, and there's a part of me that's like, man, you know, that's kind of interesting that I had this big thing in my uh a cyst in my uh on my thyroid and you know, whatever. But um yeah, so that any just you know, so you know, even though that after that was removed, I still had those that feeling. So that was a physiological thing, not a metaphysical or spiritual thing. It just you know, it was interesting. I thought the parallel of that back in my 20s. Anyway, so anxiety lives in my throat. I get, you know, I get it, I can't say things or whatever. And now that I know that, right, even if I'm not, if I don't have to speak or interact with somebody, if I get this feeling and I it's in my throat, I know that's anxiety. So now what does intuition feel like me on the flip side, right? What how does that how do I know that it's intuition? Well, for me, intuition is quiet, it is patient, uh, it doesn't give me the feeling of wanting to scribble on a piece of paper, it just sort of shows up as this really good feeling from like underneath my heart into my gut, right? And even if I feel like the this intuitive guidance might be a little heavy or a hard to handle, it still comes with this sense of calm, right? So going back to the example of the car. Um, I'm gonna, you know, let's let's let me walk you through this, how it feels for me. And this is for me, and it may not work for you because everything in the world that you access is a buffet. And if it works for you, put it on your plate. If it doesn't work for you, leave it on the buffet table. That's just how how it works for me. This is what happens when cats come to visit. Oh, you know, am I allergic? Absolutely, probably mostly, surely. I mean, whatever. It's a it's a common thing in my family. Have I ever been tested? No. Do I absolutely start to cough and get all choked up after a cat jumps on my lap? 100. Am I gonna change that? Absolutely not. Um let's let me, you know, let's let's walk through this again with a car scenario. So I'm walking out to my car to go return library books, and immediately I get this sort of feeling of I need to get a drink of water, my throat's really dry. Um I, you know, if someone's going along with me, if they ask me a question and I can't really give an answer, I know that that is anxiety. Um, and not it has no physiological meaning behind it. So um, you know, I'm not thirsty, I didn't uh, you know, there was nothing behind it. I just get this kind of closed feeling in my throat. And I have techniques for that, which I'll get into that too. Here and here in a moment. Um that's my tell that I'm uh I'm I'm dealing with some anxiety. If I walk out to my car and I feel kind of that warmth radiating under my rib cage to kind of my belly button area, um I I know to pay attention and that something's trying to say, hey, maybe when you go out on this trip, um you're you're gonna have an experience that I'm giving you a heads up about. And it's not always like a bad thing, it's like, hey, you might see somebody that you wanted to see in a while, you haven't seen in a while, and you want to talk to them. So just you know, know that you're gonna get to see this person that you really like talking to, especially at the library. I love talking to the library folks. Um, and so I, you know, I get in and I'm like, okay, I'll just be um open to knowing that I might see someone that I like talking to. And that gives me a real good idea of how to move forward, and just also I'm not walking around constantly in a state of anxiety or intuition. Um, that's also a thing that I see online that you know, you either have to be hyper-vigilant about this or very observant about that, and and really in the life of folks out there, I don't, you know, the I for me, I think, and I've tried to verbalize this in a way that doesn't either sound like I'm being sanconious or whatever, it's that um a lot of times all of us get swayed by things on social media, and when we say we aren't, um, we might think that we're not, but even someone that is well versed in media literacy, such as myself, you know, such as myself and many others, or someone that has self-awareness about how they engage with things, we are swayed by what we see on our little devices. And there are tons of papers and all kinds of things, and uh you just take a little gander, um, and it's different in that manner than other forms of media that we have experienced because of the fact that there are algorithms and things that push information to us that are created to raise your hormone stress levels. So you might have been looking up all kinds of things about anxiety online, and you jump on one of your social media platforms and you get pushed a video that says, you know, anxiety's not real, and taking medicine for it means it's a cop, you know, you might see something that is absolutely unhelpful, and then you get fired up, and it's just it's a weird, it's just an odd thing. And for those in helping professions, um the rise of folks dealing with the stress of social media uh has grown by a percentage that would be shocking to you. Um and some of this can only be considered anecdotal because right now there's not a lot of good standardized research on that. Um, but yeah, I just realized that I had a squirrel brain moment, so let me come back. Okay, so now what happens, right, when you're starting when the the the one of the things that I I the is that I just want to normalize the struggle, right? And I'm sometimes the spiritual community is especially when we get into like spiritual bypassing and all of that, the the spiritual community is like just trust your gut. Um if you get any feeling in your body, then you know, blah blah blah. And it it and it just like yes, trust your gut, but your your intuition might not reside in that body feeling. You your intuition might make you feel um like you really do have an eyeball on your forehead, or you might get a specific kind of sense of comfort, and when you get that bypassing of trusting your gut, you don't know what is going on, and so I it that's a very confusing kind of uh thing, and I mean I've said it before, it's been like just trust your gut, um, but now I just say just trust your intuition, and you know, and that looks different for for everyone. Another thing that I feel like I'm like, let me complain about social media, um, which is kind of like one of my things, but I get a little cranky about it. I'm not gonna lie, I get a little cranky about it. Um because you know you know the physical symptoms of what feels like anxiety. And what feels like intuition. And that's going to take you a while to figure it out. And another thing that I want to bring attention to while we're here is that it takes as long as it takes. Again, I see a lot of online coaches or gurus or mentors or whatever that are like, do this, snip, snip, and snap snap, and you're going to be all great, and you're going to be all fine. And that's just not how it works. And we are sold this bill of goods from the billion-dollar wellness industry that if you do this technique, you breathe this way, you take this medicine, you eat this food, you fast this long, or whatever, we are sold so much junk that when by the time people get to me or other people that do my work, they have been so beat up by this. Um they are on their last resources and they're tired and they feel like they've done everything wrong based on this information that they found online. And that makes me sad. That makes me sad because it puts doubt in the minds of the culture about um, you know healing as a whole from a more whole person standpoint and from a heroic or kind of Western medicine standpoint. And the truth is that the these two things need to collaborate, but it's like they're too busy flinging poo at each other to stop and see that people that really need care are getting overlooked. And um, you know, so that's why when you you know when you are trying to find a way to make yourself feel better, that's why I like the buffet approach. If it works, use it, if it doesn't, let it go. So, and and one of the other things about anxiety is that anxiety pulls us into the future, it takes us away from being right here in the moment, which is really difficult. It's a hard concept to really let sink in. And um, you know, you can say be here now as much as you want, but your brain is wired to be looking for things um ahead to keep you safe while using past information to you know monitor the situation and make sure that you know a saber-toothed tiger is not gonna come and eat you. Um, and that's that's why you know really trying to find a concrete way to navigate the world of anxiety and intuition is really difficult to say that there's just one way. So that's why you gotta find an individualized way to make it work for you, right? So, and even for people that know this stuff or have worked on them stuff on all this on their own, and you know, it still is something that you have to kind of sit with every time it happens, and I want to normalize that. I want to normalize that you may find the techniques about defining anxiety and intuition, but it's not gonna, you're not gonna just magically overnight be good to go. And even if you've had a long string of understanding what that means for you, it you may have a situation where in that moment you're having a hard time discerning what is intuition and what is anxiety. So um that's why you've gotta you've gotta find what works for you and you gotta you know find something that that helps you understand that, how you experience it. And the same goes for how to deal with it when it happens, right? What what do you do? You gotta make a decision right then, and what do you do? You can't just necessarily be here now, and you can't you can't do you gotta you gotta you've gotta make that decision right now. What I do for me is a technique that I learned through um Buddhism is that I call it the five four three two one technique. And what I do is I take my thumb and I touch my pinky and I say five, I move to the ring finger, four, the middle finger, three, my pointer finger one, and or two, my pointer finger two, and my thumb to my palm, one, or just my thumb, wiggle my thumb around. If you can't touch your thumb to your palm, or you know, just to the any part of the palm of your hand. So, and then I go back. I touch my thumb, one, touch my pointer, two, touch my ring, or middle, three, touch my ring, four, touch my pinky, five. Alright, so let's do this again, and uh hopefully I'll get my number straight. Okay, so I'm in the situation, I feel a little anxious, my throat's closing up, um, but also I'm getting that feeling in my abdomen, and I'm not really sure what's going on, so I want to kind of get grounded and find my way again. So I'm just gonna get a normal breath. Breath in and out, some to pinky, five, some to ring finger, four, some to middle finger, three, some to pointer finger, two, some to palm, one, another breath in and out, some to palm, one, some to pointer, two, some to middle finger, three, some to ring finger, four, some to pinky, five, and another breath. And for me, that does it. It might not work for you. There are all sorts of techniques that you can find. And I would suggest if you have the capability and the freedom and the safety to do so, that you you you think about what what makes you feel calm when you're anxious? What what brings you that sense of okay, now I can listen to my inner guidance, now I can listen to whatever feelings I'm getting. And you know, in future podcasts, I'm gonna talk a little bit about intuition, but maybe if you understand intuition as your inner guidance, and that that's something that everything on this planet experiences. Um plants, animals, we have proprioceptive senses, and um, you know, this is not the time to get into it because we draw to an end, but um, you know, you you drop into your system and can better understand what it's trying to tell you, and you know, and I would just want to normalize, I want to say this again. I want to normalize the fact that even people that you might think have are beyond what you think, you know, whatever. Everyone deals with this, and the key is just to find techniques that work the best for you so that it doesn't prevent you from enjoying your life. Yeah, you know, one of the things that I've been working on is uh how to not just say, okay, podcast is done, thank you. Um, without also sounding like I'm being like, and thank you for listening to Mom Strange Magic. This has been Kim Upton, and I'm now gonna drop a bunch of information to you about how to whatever. Um, and so you know, because uh when I when I'm done, I'm like, okay, bye. It's been great talking to you. See you on the other side. Um, so let me let me try this new thing out with you all uh in this week's podcast. Um so Mom Strange Magic is finished and the website is done. I have listed the things that I offer there in the services. Um this Friday is uh the first full moon of May. May is going to have a blue moon. That's May 2026, um at the end of May. So we're coming into May with a bright light, and we're leaving May with a bright light, the lunar orb light, um, which traditionally is like our emotions, our inner feelings, and things like that. So um, yeah, it may, it's gonna be May. Sorry. Uh hee hee. Um, so check that out. It's very just momstrangemagic.com. It's gonna drop you into an actual website, which is really cool. It took me uh I got a few gray hairs to get it the way that I wanted. Hopefully, it looks fine on desktop and mobile. If not, feel free to let me know. Um, and then this week I am launching the Kimbo Burley Tales, which is the story of my life and how I got to be the way that I am, and you will be able to find information about that on Mom Strange Magic. But if not, you can go to K-E-U-P-T-O-N dot com. That's K-E-Upton, all one word dot com, and that will get you to where the Kimbo Burley Tales are, and it will be that is where I am going to share my stories. It's going to be the the the Kimbo Burley Tales. That's me. And um, this has been a project years in the making, and I've tried it here and there and everywhere, and I just wasn't ready, and I didn't have my ducks in a row, and I really also knew that it mom strained. I mean, I had these two things going on simultaneously, um, that created that anxiety versus intuition kind of thing, and I was able to really work through some of these things and be able to get them going. So I'm very excited to announce that new cool thing, but also you can you should be able to check out momstrangemagic and dot com and everything should click along as it should be. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for being here together with me in this virtual uh environment. I hope that all manner of things go well for you, and I appreciate you being here with me. I will see you next week. Until then, know that you are loved and supported, and I see you shining brightly as the sun.